Rebellious Eating

Note: Quotes on self-acceptance were found on this website. I was talking with someone the other day about how it can be easy to eat as a way of rebelling against a specific person. Even if the other person isn’t around. Even if they’ll never know – and you’re the only one who suffers. Have you ever done this? I know I have. In fact, I had a few people I rebelled against with food. My mom. Her mom. My doctor. My therapist. The Weight Watchers people. The problem was, their voices were so loud in my head, so ingrained, that it felt like they were around even when they weren’t. And with those internal voices came judgment. The judgment was what I rebelled against. My rebellion became a sort of

Green - the Color of Hope

While buying soup ingredients last week, one of those dreaded “should” thoughts popped into my head. “I should put some greens in it.” I like greens – kale, spinach, cabbage, lettuce – but that isn’t where the thought came from. It was that deep-seated and ingrained command: “Eat your greens.” I don’t even think my parents ever said this. But I’ve breathed it in from other cultural sources. I didn’t worry too much about it at the time. I just grabbed some spinach and moved one. But then I glanced through the beginning of the wonderful book, Wild Garlic, Gooseberries… and Me by Denis Cotter. I’d turned to the book for inspiration, since I wanted to write something tied into St. Patrick’s Day.

A Pleasure - But a Guilty One?

A few weeks ago, I saw an episode of Guy’s Grocery Games where chefs had to make a “guilty pleasure” for one round. This language bothers me. I remember all too well how guilt and shame tormented me when I ate certain foods. I knew they were “bad” and I “shouldn’t” eat them. But it didn’t stop me. It just meant I felt horrible about myself. Maybe you can relate. In a way, I even wonder if this language encouraged me to eat those foods even more. Talking about it with this kind of judgment reinforced my beliefs about food. And about how eating a certain way reflected on me. This made me feel bad. And I often turned to food when I felt that way. Since I had already messed up, why not soothe my

Deciding What to Eat When You Can Eat Anything You Want

I talked with someone the other day about the challenges of deciding what and how much to eat when you’re not restricting yourself. After all, if you can have whatever you want, whenever you want, why not make it a free for all? This stuck with me when I went out to lunch on Friday. It’s Maine Restaurant Week, and as with previous years, my brother and I took advantage of it as a pre-birthday treat for him. This year we went to David’s, a restaurant near where we both work. We could do two courses (appetizer and entrée, or entrée and dessert) for $15, or all three for $20. When I looked at the menu, I noticed some interesting thoughts as I tried to decide what to get – thoughts I might have

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