Harvest on the Harbor

What’s interesting for me to consider about this is that, if I were still overweight, I would never even think about going to this sort of event. When I was heavy, I hated eating in front of people. And for something like this, where so many of the foods were rich or caloric, I would have been feeling guilty and wondering about what others thought of me, sure they would be disgusted by someone as large as me eating so much. Or eating at all, for that matter. The crowds would also have been difficult for me. One of the things that still sometimes surprises me is how small of an opening I can fit through. When I was heavier, though, I obviously took up a great deal more space, and the idea of trying to squeeze through those crowds would have been intimidating and generally unappealing. It made me very glad that I felt able to attend this particular event, because the food was delicious. I even managed not to gain any weight from it by virtue of exercising in the morning, skipping supper (something I only do in extreme circumstances), and walking a little over 3 miles to and from my car. But more than just enjoying the taste of the food, I am grateful that I no longer have to feel guilty for that enjoyment. I still need to be careful, certainly, but that change in my relationship to food and how I think others perceive me is a tremendous gift.