Last week, I wrote about why I dislike overeating, but also how I hoped the reminder would be useful when I went out for birthday gelato on Memorial Day.
I’m happy to report that I remembered the lesson on two occasions, both involving gelato. Unfortunately, the one on Memorial Day turned out to be more of a consolation prize than a celebration.
Memorial Day consolation
The reason the holiday gelato wasn’t so happy was sadly due to kitty issues.
Osiris has been up and down a lot since January, and he took a downturn late last week. He started having more balance issues, and doing weird things like eating kitty litter. He’s also not being very vocal, which for him is an indication that he’s not feeling well.
He spends most of his time on the couch, watching the world go by.
Things got bad enough by Monday that I ended up taking him to the emergency vet, about the time I was supposed to be meeting my friend for gelato.
I didn’t get a lot of answers, but I did find out that he’s still losing weight at a rapid pace. In just one month, he went down 3/4 of a pound. It didn’t really surprise me, since he’s felt like just skin and bones, but it was hard having it confirmed.
It forced me to confront the reality that I’d been trying to avoid, which is that far from getting better, he’s getting worse. I planned to follow-up with my regular vet the next day, even though I already knew it was time to say goodbye. (My vet agreed.)
By the time I got home, I wasn’t in a great mood. But I also felt like I really needed to get out of the house for something more positive, especially since it was a nice day.
Happily my friend had a flexible schedule and was still up for gelato, just a couple of hours later.
It was interesting because while driving over, I noticed some thoughts in my head about how I deserved the gelato after the weekend I’d had.
Plus, it was almost my birthday! I was certainly entitled to a treat.
Of course, I could have decided to have the gelato for those reasons alone, but by that point, I was also legitimately hungry. That always makes things taste even better.
And on a warm, stressful afternoon, the creamy chocolate and other flavors of my gelato were delicious.
Did the gelato make everything better? No, but it did help settle me, as did seeing my friend. (Since she also just had to have a cat put to sleep, she could really empathize – it’s been a tough cat year.)
And by the time I got home on Monday, I was enough calmer not to be tempted to eat just for emotional reasons. I did have something else later, when I was hungry again, but it was a good balance, without the overeating issues of the day before.
The rest of the week was rough, after making arrangements to have visiting vets come tomorrow to put Osiris to sleep. But I did get a break last night with my book group.
We always have wonderful food at our potluck dinners, so I knew I had to be careful not to overeat. That’s a challenge when we have so many delicious and colorful options.
I did manage to just sample some of everything for the main meal, since I wanted to leave room for dessert. What I didn’t know was that they’d planned a birthday cake – with three flavors of gelato! – for the dessert.
Plus, one of my friends has twin seven-year-old boys, and they both made me cards, and one of them made me a little smiley face gift. It couldn’t help but make me smile in return.
I had a small piece of cake and sampled each of the gelato flavors, being mindful about enjoying them and not overeating. And I succeeded. At the end of the meal, I was perfectly satisfied, in every way.
Now I’m continuing the mindfulness as I wait for tomorrow afternoon.
I’ve been trying very hard to focus on the moment and appreciate what time I have with Osiris, without dwelling on the upcoming loss. This doesn’t always work, but I’m glad I can at least have some moments of just enjoying his company while I still can.
I don’t know if I’ll have more gelato tomorrow afternoon as additional consolation, although I could, since I have leftovers from last night. We’ll see how I feel. I do know I’ll have friends with me, which will help.
I just hope this is the last of the cat drama for the year. And I’m glad to have had a little celebration mixed in with the sadness.